Author: RK

Negative result, second of two in three days. Still have a slight cold, it’s very minor, but got spooked from a friend saying “I was negative on my first day of symptoms but not after”, so I took another test. Fuck I was nerve-wracked.

I almost waited til I got home so I couldn’t say if it was neg or pos, and then I decided that I would take the test so I would know, but not share it with anyone til I got home and just be completely, ridiculously masked and strapped up during travel today, tight N95 mask not down at all, period. I am so relieved I have not committed this awful ethical breach. But I was going to. goddddddddddddddddddddddd

This shit is so scary. And I feel like such an idiot. I know exactly when I should have caught it, and lucked out to the extreme. I will keep testing every two days for the next four. No, you haven’t “done everything right”, but also the R on this is just so out of control. Not a good combo.

So happy to be rereading Rachel Pollack’s Godmother Night. I read it a long time ago, and it definitely unconsciously informed a lesbian fairy tale I wrote a few months ago, and then I thought, oh I want to read that book again, and her writing is stamped all over what I wrote, and I genuinely didn’t even know. No you can’t read it!

Woke up with a cold yesterday, slept a lot last night, doing better today, but am ready to fall asleep now even though it is not even 8 here. Realllyyyyy want to get over this quick! #itsnotcovid

I didn’t start journaling regularly again since 2009 or so until last October or so, I don’t think, and now I can’t imagine my life without this kind of processing and externalization. Keeps me sharp!!

Time to P R O C E S S

If you don’t have a substance problem, consider yourself very lucky. I don’t, I don’t really know how I dodged it, and I know I’m extremely, extremely lucky. I honestly think a way bigger portion of humans have substance stuff than reported or known.

Fyi everything is ok with me, and with mine. Just musing

Wow I love PDX so much 😭 best airport in the world to start a journey in and come home to.

In the TSA line everyone was fucking up the queuing, which is ALSO very Portland haha, we love waiting in lines to all our detriment lmao